Thursday, March 30, 2006

 

How low can Bu$h sink?

The trouble with dividing the country like he has is that once you lose just a few people, you're suddenly in the minority, leaving the considerable minority who opposed you in the first place, plus the people whose support you just lost and are unlikely to ever win back.

Bush and his people never gave a shit, as long as they won the votes they needed to win. But those days are gone now. And there is a piper that will need to be paid.

This is the last thursday before baseball season starts. Bring it on!

And George Mason has already emerged as the story of the NCAA tournament, regardless of how this weekend goes. Needless to say, I'm pulling for them.

One last thing. President Reagan was shot 25 years ago today. It's weird what you remember, sometimes. I remember the Oscars were scheduled for that night, and they postponed them because Reagan was an actor (and he was the president too, I guess). But the NCAA championship was also scheduled for that night, and they went on with the game.

What I remember was that they played the 3rd place game first, and then the title game. Who remembers there even was a 3rd place game in the NCAA tournament? I guess if you lost in the Final 4 on Saturday, you still got to play another game on Monday.

And what moron scheduled the oscars and the NCAA championship on the same night? That wouldn't happen in 2006.


Peace.

Thursday, March 23, 2006

 

F.U.B.S.

Fuck You Bud Selig.

That's right. Fuck. You. You will not do a damn thing to Barry Bonds, when doing something might show that you have a modicum of leadership in you.

McGwire, Sosa, Palmiero, Canseco....all gone from the game. And Ken Caminiti is gone from the earth altogether. Steroids have wrecked the credibility of baseball (the Major League version of it, anyway. The game itself will never die.)

Giambi, Sheffield, and Bonds-the BALCO trinity-are a different story. They are all right there for the picking. Make them an example. Restore some trust with the fans. To use an overworked metaphor, step up to the plate.

Babe Ruth hasn't played a game in my lifetime or my father's lifetime. Yet he's the most transcendent player who ever lived. And his number-714-is about to be made a mockery of. Hank Aaron passed the record long ago, but he had to overcome things that Bonds (or the rest of us) could not imagine. He, too, deserves a lot better than to have Bonds, with his insulin and growth hormone and the cream and the clear, breeze by him to the top of the record books. You would think Selig understands that. But no.

A few years back, Selig threw up his hands at the All-Star game in the shiny new stadium built for his team in Milwaukee. And now, in a symbolic way, he's throwing up his hands again. But this a lot more than a meaningless midsummer exhibition game that is being pissed away. This is generations of continuity, from before anybody thought to put numbers or names on the back of uniforms, or to ever "retire" any player's number. Ruth pre-dates all of that stuff (although Lou Gehrig was the first to have his number retired). Bonds, again, makes a joke out of all of that.

You are no leader, Bud Selig.

Peace.

Tuesday, March 14, 2006

 

I'm calling him B.B. McCain from now on

John McCain is clearly Bush's Bitch. Or Bush's Boy. Or even Bush's Bud. As long as the first B is always "Bush" it really doesn't matter what the second B stands for.

How does it feel, B.B., to know that while you were being tortured, George Bush was busy with drinking, snorting, smoking, and screwing everything he could get his hands on, all while being at least ten time zones away from you? It sure would piss me off, and I've never been tortured, either.

I'll get into this more later.

Little old Jerome, Ill. is a mess. Hopefully things can be cleared away and rebuilt soon.

Hang in there John.

Peace.

Sunday, March 05, 2006

 

A new name for Bill O'Reilly

I have to start by saying that Keith Olbermann at MSNBC deserves huge credit for going after him. O'Reilly doesn't like being challenged, and every trick he's tried so far (threatening calls to the higher-ups, the silly petition to bring back Phil Donahue, etc.) has been brilliantly boomeranged back at him on-air. I love that, and I've told Keith as much in an email.

On to the name thing. Keith has taken to reading O'Reilly's statements in a Ted Baxter voice--deep, patronizing, and ultimately devoid of any merit. In effect, it reduces O'Reilly to a parody of a parody of a buffoon. Which is all O'Reilly is, anyway.

So I got to thinking. His name is Bill (O'Reilly), and he's now being reduced to a parody of Ted (Baxter). That gives us Bill and Ted, who were played by Keanu Reeves and some other guy movie in a from the late 80s. And I think George Carlin got in at the end somehow. If you haven't see the movie, Bill and Ted are a couple of low-grade Spicoli wannabes. And their conribution to movie history was their oft-repeated catchword: Bogus! And who is phonier than Bill O'Reilly? No one that I have ever met. Probably no one currently drawing breath in this world.

So from now to eternity (or at least until he is driven off of the air), Bill should be referred to as BO'gus. The first two letters spell out his initials, which inadvertently adds to the effect. I've sometimes seen him referred to as BO and BOR, but if he smells, I don't know about it. And high school chemistry is boring. Railing against "the left" as the source of all the trouble in the world is incendiary. And that's far worse than high school chemistry could ever be.

Peace.

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